Crass, Funny, Silly things people say at an agency
“JP: “Zustek? You’re not serious. I’m gonna vomit.”
JP: “I’ll bottle my scent and send it to her for Christmas. I said I’m always up for a personal space invasion.”
TA: “Outstandable”
WS: “It’s ‘AGILE’ resume revision”
JP: “Danielle,let’s trade. I’ll do your accounting stuff. I have a big calculator.”
BB: “I’m keeping an Excel Spreadsheet in my mind.”
JP: “Downward facing dog!” Under-age teen girl: “Yoga?’ JP: “Hardly.” Under-age teen girl: “Oh God!”
WS: “There’s popcorn cookin’ in here all day. God, somebody is a cockporn feed. I mean… cockporn… feed.”
MS: “Nobody’s touching my pee pee!”
MR: “I just wanna see me, that’s all I care about.”
JK: “Wow, I’m honored. Can you send another copy? I just double deleted it by accident.”
MS: “I think I can still “Ho down” for a few more years.”
MS: “I’m not sure what is up with that bad choice.”
MS: “It seems like He’s the type of guy that cracks the whip on other guys”
MS: “I was like a street ball legend”
MS: “Yeah right, dont tell me crap about her feet. You just like big booties dude.”
JP: “Besides…women in their late 30’s and early 40’s…they’re in their sexual prime…what?…it’s true, dude!”
JK: “You’re probably the only guy ever to actually cock-block himself.”
JP: “I want to thank you for taking care of that payroll issue with the quickness”
DD: “You wanna just make some stuff up, dude?”
MS: “Where do you think the pizza bagel came from?”
SK: “Why don’t we make a website that plays music for people?”
MS: “Cancer…Oh man I hope he doesn’t have that, Patrick Swayze just caught it too.”
JR: “Smegma? That could be a real font!!”
MS: “I know that Tim does but I don’t know for a fact”
MS: “I like a cabernet with balls”
— Various
“theres no one sittng near me now, it looks like i have herpes or something”
— NR
“Does [having an attic fan] eliminate the “hot as balls” effect?”
— TM
“do you think we’ll have 69 today?”
— TM
“….So in a case like this where javascript needs to talk to javascript and do javascripty shit…..”
— TB
“Wranglers are designed to pull a man’s package up. When I wear them, it’s like Saturday Night Fever in my pants!”
— RD
“Is this Japanese? I saw this like 3 yours ago?”
— FD
“wait, was that the last time i got arrested?”
— TB
“I’ve got balls that are older than James.”
— TA
“When you get a chance, please pass by his desk and give him a big huge!!!!”
— FD
“I barely moved my next yesterday at the office. Today I can’t move it much.”
— FD
“Believe me, it will make your life better!”
— FD
“Chilly weather messed me up.”
— FD
“MH: Just from a “past history” perspective…
WF: …that’s really an “underminded” way to do things…
MH: If I could lie to myself, I would, I just wouldn’t believe it.
SN: “…one-ly…”
SN: “…most-probably…”
WF: Now all I can think of is the skank in the pool when I hear this one.
WS: “Visually speaking…”
MH: “So, not to assign you shit… I’m just talkin’ out loud”
MH: “Espresso, Espresso, Espresso… do some fuckin’ designs!”
WF: “You gotta see Donna’s clam.”
FD: “‘Member dat ‘group effort’ word?” MH: “That word? Yeah, I like that word.”
WF: “This station’s hit and miss”
MH: “Pride of the moment, I have for you”
WF: “I’ll send you more of the reputable, if you will, sites.”
WF: “I’ll throw a number out at you and you can play with it. Let’s say 50K. Play with that.”
WF: “No more talking down to them, ya know? More of the we/us type stuff.”
WF: “I’ll price that out in the proposal and put in less recess constraints”
WF: “Cuz you’re a skank… I mean, YOU’RE not a skank… but if you have a tatoo on your arm, you’re a skank. No, that’s not what I meant.”
WS: “There should be fake holidays so the shit hits the fan before real holidays… so you can enjoy them.” MH: “There are fake holidays.” WS: “Like what?” MH: “Kwanzaa!”
WS: “If you can see the hole, I think that’s considered hard-core”
WF: “I’m gonna need an SUV, a Sport Utility Vehicle”
WF: “I extrapolated the numbers, but the results were skewed because of variable data”
WS: “Make like a seagull and flock off”
MH: “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And then I got home and my wife peed all over everything.”
MH: “My wife’s a meat snob.”
AR: “I wish I was single” - WF: “It’s easy. I can make it super simple for ya”
MH: “We usually include the more-DOCUMENTATED narrative…”
AR: “Guess what Perrie got? Cookie dough! You know, cookie dough that you can eat?”
MH: “Those guys are talkin’ about anal slap-fuckin’! Where do you work, Daddy?”
WS: “Semen sample: Man hands through a glory hole.”
WS: “If you go back and talk to Big-Tit Sally, the ‘problem’ might ‘rear its ugly head’ again. But I guess that’s just the nature of the boner.”
WF: “…when we are driving traffic and whatnot…”
WF: “…It’s like photographic masterbation.”
WF: “There’s a fifty percent chance you’re gonna see ninnies when you come in here.”
DV: “Quick, quick, shove a flute up his butt!”
FD: “Holy Snap!”
WF: “We use a systematic algorithm”
WF: “We’ll use a baseline benchmark standard”
DC: “He’s emotionally erect!”
CA: “I never surf in bed.”
WF: “Where do I get a giant lettuce?”
WF: “From what I’ve talked to him he’s learned a lot of insight from what we’ve already known.”
JK: “He’ll be doubled over, rubbing Ben Gay on his thighs”
PK: “I ate the crayons, and it is good.”
MA: “It’s not a buffalo elephant you ignorant fool.”
MH: “Some people might want to have a questions asked at them.”
FD: “I see your face, very radiant, it is, uh.”
TA: “Productionalize”
TA: “Arm-a-cher”
DC: “Wooly Koo”
FD: “Walters the Stevenson”
TM: “She really perseverated on that.”
SN: “Sure… I’ll.”
MA: “You know what? I’ll speed up the process. Get your shiz-nit and get the hell out of here.”
AC: “He’s very good at being blind”
FD: “Just buy her a snake, man.”
JC: “Strict is a state of mind.”
CS: “You need to grow a backbone.”
Chris: “God praise the lord.”
DC: “This is the WallStreet Journal! This is not smut!”
WF: “I got my ear to the grindstone.”
CAl: “Hey Adam! Welcome back! Auf wiedersehen! Auf wiedersehen!”
DD: “FashionWeekLive! FashionWeekLive! Girls! Ohh! I’m going to city! What pays the bills, bitches?! It’s the boring Cephalon work damn it!”
DD: “Get that fuckin’ kid outta here! Cephalon pays the bills!”
FD: “Ron the Tucker”
FD: “We just sound like smart assholes’
MH: “…a lesbian dick sucking monkey throwing bloody shit at ceiling fans”
MA: “I subscribe to that ticket”
DDz: “He doesn’t care about you dude. Alls he cares about are his little fuckin’ Flash projects, alright dude?”
DD: “If I catch any of you jokers gettin’ omlets and bagels, you’re fired. I need omlets and bagels like I need a hole in my head. Massages and bagels… what is this? A resort?”
DDz: “That’s it, dudes. Monster dot com, fuckers.”
JJ: “I’ll put a wig on you and smack you in the face”
JJ: “Anyone that wants to make out, come cross the danger zone line”
CS: “C’mon Perrie, sweat is good. C’mon, Perrie. Faster, faster. Sweat is good.”
JJ: “I’m the gypsy of reality!!!”
DDiggs: “Have you ever used Saran Wrap for protection?”
RT: “There’s no time to change your douche”
JC: “All controls are controls.”
CS: “Thank god at least I would have you gies straight in stead trying to turn me gay with the rest of you.”
CS: “Yea, my hemorrhoids go out to Marc too”
RT: “Douche… It is a good word… I think its German”
DD: “That’s what lunch is, Derev. Ya go and ya eat lunch. The man’s hungry—and he doesn’t want any of that Chilly’s Willy’s slop, ok?”
FD: “The web site is spam right now—like viagra… and virgin fuck… and all that stuff.”
DDz: “Ohhhh Slammy!? Slammy McCrackin over here!”
JC: “Its like someone took a butter knife to your ass and spread it around”
DDz: “It’s: start now and work fastly. That’s the project plan, K buddy?”
DDz: “You’re not gonna pull any of that page-height shit on us, are you?”
CA: “From a humiliation standpoint”
DDz: “Freddy’s just like you man, Johnny double-role, two-face Charley.”
CAc: “Take it to the max everyday!”
JC: “I don’t want to swing on a web, I want to fly like Superman!”
TA: “Where’d you guys hide all the sausage?”
FD: “Kaefavility”
FD: “Hey… where’s my friend Brandon Lee? Did he die like Bruce Lee’s son?”
FD: “I like you Walter, you make my day very life-full.”
DDz: “Oh contraire, moyare!”
AG: “It’s not me! Ay, with the numbers!”
FD: “These account managers, man. What the hell they do? They staying at home, sending images and stuff. You know?”
WS: “I think if you get a boner from it, it constitutes adult content”
PK: “Have you been downstairs lately? It smells like a Swedish whore-house, only with no Swedes and a lot of oil.”
JJ: “Wipe your ass with your paycheck.”
GW: “I think Wai May’s is pinker than JudyAnn’s”
FD: “Alright. I need to go talk to him. He’s getting into the too-much-things right now. When he get like that his head spins.”
CV: “I don’t need to see her thing, I have my own”
DDz: “Is that the Freddy Day-Hoose terror training camp, dude?”
FD: “The Walta-nator. Having happy smiles with emails.”
MS: “Nothing compares to a stretch hummer!” YL: “That sounds painful.”
MG: “I’m actually not here.” BB:”Is he ever?”
BB: “Your SEM sucks!”
JJ: “We could play: ‘name that finger in my ass’. Or ‘guess whose semen you’re tasting’.”
BB: “That was de-masculating”
DDz: “Ohhhh! That’s garbage dude!? Now it’s selective garbage? Golly gee!”
JJ: “Wil scares me in the “One-Hour-Photo” kinda way, whereas Derev scares me more in the “Get-your-daughter-pregnant-and-give-her-an-STD” kinda way”
DDz: “Alright. Is everybody happy? Mentored? Nobody’s gonna quit on me? No complaints about your manager?”
DDz: “You know how long the Europeans work? 3 hours a day. Okay?”
TM: “Wai May, you can blow me.”
FD: “What I have is very un-normal”
JJ: “Walt, we always knew you were a leader. Ya fuckin’ loser.”
JJ: “Why don’t you buy us drinks?” YL: “I would if I were an employee!”
FD: “Oh yeah!! The brain can do everything when there is space for it! Don’t loose sight of that.”
JP: “I gave up the moment I got my offer letter”
JC: “It’s just because I’m working at home.” JP: “Well, maybe you shouldn’t be working from home!”
FD: “Ok. Let me get high here.”
FD: “My computer for some reason is 1 hour behind! He thinks he is European!”
DanCon: “I smell like I sound.”
DacCon: “Flaccid Rock”
FD: “Today I have, like, so many stuff, man.”
TA: “She had quarter size, extruded nipples, man.”
DDz: “When I take a shit I see wireframes.” “I see wireframes in my poop! Or is that corn?”
PK: “Whenever I take a crap now, I think of you”
FD: “You gotta be smarter than that man. You dont buy a hundred thousand dollar miles-an-hour car and just drive it until you crash, thats crazy man”
BB: “You can’t tell me what I cannot and cannot do.”
CAc: “It’s like Jackyl and Hidus.”
DDz: “Is Madhu at the Mosque again? Pray on your own time! Is that politically incorrect, dude?”
JR: “I’m not a mom—I have kids!”
CA: “Ya know what they say in Japan? Supa-kuwah-kee. You know what that means? Super cute.”
TM: “Semyon, are you Irish?” SK: “No. I’m 100% bear.”
DCon: “We should be the Alpha Dogs. We’re the Zeta llamas. Zeta giraffes. Zeta WEEEEEEEasels… Zeta Kangaroos! Are you down with the Roos?”